Posted in life

Stream of Consciousness Childhood

My mom’s birthday was in May, so she got Mother’s Day presents and birthday presents. My Dad’s birthday was in February, so he got Valentine’s Day junk and birthday presents. My sister’s birthday is in December, so she got Christmas presents and birthday presents. My birthday is in July, so I didn’t get any extra junk. Not even a cake at school, because there is no school in the Summer.

Not that it was a big deal, though. I was that kid that circled everything in the Christmas edition of the Sears and J.C. Penney catalogues. My sister circled about 2 or 3 things. I usually got everything I wanted. Except for one thing. A Charlie McCarthy ventriloquist doll. I asked for it three years in a row. It was always the first thing I searched for. Nada.

Continue reading “Stream of Consciousness Childhood”

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20 Random Things

  1. I work with 3 people who can’t tell time by using a regular clock. It has to be digital.
  2. When I was a kid, I was trapped on the school bus for 11 hours during a blizzard.
  3. In college, my only D was in voice lessons.
  4. My freshman Music Theory teacher got busted in the bathroom at Dillard’s for having sex with another guy. He blew his brains out before it hit the papers.
  5. I was born on the exact same day as Hart Hanson, the creator of bones.
  6. I’ve had a mustache since I was 17 and a beard since I was 20.
  7. The first 45 I ever bought with my own money was Old Fashioned Love Song by Three Dog Night.
  8. My mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer the day after she retired, and died 4 months later on Mother’s Day. My dad also died on Mother’s Day in 1980. I don’t like Mother’s Day.
  9. My dad asked my mom for a divorce on Christmas Eve, 1973.
  10. When I learned that Kennedy had been assassinated, I was eating a bologna (baloney) sandwich.
  11. My great grandfather was a bank robber (one of them was). I had 4.
  12. The only songs I’ve ever sung at karaoke are Georgy Girl, and the Theme to Mr. Ed.
  13. In college band, we played a piece called Paradigm, but my director always pronounced in pair-a-dig-um. He didn’t know any different.
  14. I hate Sugar Smacks cereal.
  15. I peed next to Tommy Lee from Motley Crue.
  16. I’m not psychic, even though most people think I’m a mind reader because I’m supposed to know what they want without them telling me.
  17. I have an autographed picture of Leona Helmsley.
  18. Its 10:52 and I really should be asleep.
  19. It’s still 10:52
  20. Tonight Arkansas got one step closer to being in the college World Series. Go Hogs.
Posted in prompts

Twenty Random Things

  1. I know people who pronounce Fiscal Year as Physical Year and don’t know they’re saying it wrong.
  2. When I was a kid, my dad came home with a bag of blood from the hospital and poured it into a potted plant.
  3. When my high school band director would tune up the clarinets, I would hum, really loudly, a half step lower than they were playing so that it would sound like they were out of tune.
  4. My house burned down on 8/8/88. So now, I don’t like 8s.
  5. My middle name is Clarence. As was my dad, and his dad, and his dad. I hate it.
  6. When I was 12, I drank a mixture of milk and pickle juice on a dare.
  7. When I was in jr. high, we had a juke box in the cafeteria. I would always play Stop in the Name of Love by the Supremes.
  8. I got pulled out of line at the airport and interrogated because my cell phone (the really old kind) was held together with tape, and they thought it might be a bomb or something.
  9. I’ve never eaten cauliflower.
  10. One of my ex-bosses played Jason Voorhees in Friday the 13th part 6.
  11. I had the mumps on my 40th birthday.
  12. I don’t like Oreos.
  13. When I was 18, I played the xylophone on a PBS show called Melody Shop.
  14. I can only open doors with my left hand.
  15. I always get 4s and 5s mixed up. I have to stop and think about what to call them.
  16. One time, I had Meet me in St. Louis on repeat play for 2 weeks.
  17. My most listened to song on iTunes is Don’t You Forget About Me by Simple Minds.
  18. I automatically hate any movie with Jennifer Aniston or Julia Roberts in it.
  19. I’ve seen every episode of The Twilight Zone, The Brady Bunch, Magnum pi, Charlie’s Angels, The Waltons, The Andy Griffith Show, Mad Men, That Girl and Leave it to Beaver
  20. I misspelled my name until I was in the 4th grade. I always left the E out of Robert. Then I started going by Bob and it didn’t matter.